Treat Your Binge Like That Ex That Keeps Coming Back For More

I have already opened up about my struggles with binge eating on the blog, but I think it’s important to continue the discussion, as I know many women (and men) still fight #BED every day. As with any disorder or illness — whether it’s an ED or anxiety & depression, I believe a big part of healing is your mindset. Being kind to yourself is key.

Let’s talk kindness for a minute, okay?

When your best friend comes to you heartbroken, sad, and feeling lost after a breakup… what do you do? You comfort her! You reiterate how amazing she is, how beautiful she is, and you remind her that she deserves to feel like the QUEEN that she really is. You tell her that she is worthy of the BEST love, and she mustn’t settle on a boy who hurts her.

Wait, a breakup? I thought we were talking about binge eating?

Stay with me here — I promise I have a point!

When you’re broken, sad, and feeling lost after a binge… what do you do? You condemn yourself. You dwell in the guilt and the regret. You tell yourself how disgusting you are for binging again, and you continue to think that this is it… there is no way out of the rock bottom that you’ve reached.

Do you see a difference?

After a binge, it is so important to be kind to yourself. If you talked to your best friend the way you talk to yourself after a binge… you’d be friendless.

Now, you might be thinking… okay, Leta, but breakups and binging are two completely different situations.

And you’re right. They are. But what if we approached the situations more similarly?

We’ve all been through those really rough breakups, months have gone by, you’re still a little jaded, and right when things are starting to look up… this ex reappears out of nowhere.

You get a text: “Hey lady, long time no talk. How’ve you been?”

*Cue Lauren Conrad*

Lauren Conrad - The Hills Quote

Excuse me, bro, where did you come from? I was doing so well without you…

All of those breakup emotions come flooding back and here you are trying to figure out what to do… do you text him back? Do you give him the attention he’s looking for? Do you ignore him? Your heart begins to hurt and you don’t know what to do. While he certainly hurt you, there is still a memory of the good times you’ve had with him. Is he just back to playing the field? Trying to keep you on his “bench”? You know how the game goes and you don’t want to fall victim to it again, but… he’s dreamy and gorgeous and a perfect charmer. So you fall into his trap, text him back, have a whirlwind hookup for a few weeks before he tells you that he doesn’t want a relationship and you’re back to square one. Heartbroken, lost, sad, and mad at yourself for falling for your ex after he’s already shown you his true colors.

Now — let’s look at binging.

You probably dieted down for an extended period of time on a very restricted intake. You looked AMAZING and felt even better. You’ve been doing so well mending your relationship with food and eating to nourish your body. Then, this binge comes out of nowhere.

Excuse me, what just happened? But I was doing so well and have been binge-free for months…

All of those post-binge emotions come flooding back and here you are trying to figure out what to do… do you restrict your diet the next day to combat the crazy calories you just inhaled? Do you do an extra hour of cardio to help burn up the calories? [Side note: the answer is NO to BOTH of those questions.] Your heart begins to hurt and you don’t know what to do. You’ve been here before and you know that a binge is anything but comforting. You know how the game goes and you don’t want to fall victim to it again, but… binging is a vicious cycle of guilt and regret. So you fall back into this trap, you restrict for a week and after a week of restriction, you binge again and you’re back to square one. Heartbroken, lost, sad, and mad at yourself for falling back into this cycle of binging despite knowing that the binges never comforts and never heals.

So while breakups and binges are different, maybe the feelings and cyclical nature is not.

What can you do to combat this? If you binge again (here’s hoping you don’t, but if it does happen…) face that binge the way you would that ex that tries to creep back into your life when you’re really done with him.

What would you say to the guy that you’ve FINALLY gotten over + just need out of your life?

“Boy, bye. It took me a long time to get over you. And I am over you. I’m doing just fine without you, you can be on your way. Yes, we have a history — but things aren’t the same anymore. Stop playing with my emotions. I am a damn QUEEN and I deserve to be treated like one. I don’t have time to waste on any man that won’t ADD to my life.”

To a binge, that same message might look like this: “Oh, hello binge… I see you came back… you’re really not welcome here any more. Yes, we have a history — but I’m not the same person anymore. You cannot keep playing games with my head and my emotions. Food is meant to nourish my body, it is not a defense mechanism or a way to heal my wounds. I am a damn QUEEN and I deserve to feel like one. I don’t have time to waste on anything that does not serve me or make me better.”

Then — you talk to yourself the way you would talk to a friend after a breakup: “GIRL! You are so loved. You are so worthy. You are so perfect. You are ENOUGH, right here + right now… it doesn’t matter how many mistakes you’ve made. You are human. You are flawed. But those flaws and mistakes have helped you create the amazing woman that you are today.”

Binging is triggered by underlying issues. Try to understand what triggers are setting the ball in motion. Instead of beating yourself up over and over again for falling victim to this vicious cycle, try to be kind to yourself + talk to yourself as you would your dearest friend and see how that changes things. Food isn’t the enemy. And you aren’t either.

 

Xo,

Leta

Missed my first post on my struggles with binging? Read it here.

Forget What You Thought You Knew

Forget what you thought you knew. There is no such thing as “too late.” There is no such thing as “a better time.” You will never “be ready.”

All We Have Is NowAll you have is this very moment. All you have is NOW.

But do you know what else you have? You have POWER. The power to change your life. The power to change your path.

Your heart is in a different career? But it’s a risk? Do it anyway.

You’re scared to tell the person you love that you love them? Because you could get hurt? Do it anyway.

You want to change your life, but you don’t want people to talk behind your back and say “who does she think she is trying to do that?” Do. It. Anyway.

Life is full of risks. Life is full of choices. Life is full of fear. If there is something you want to do, if there is a chance you want to take, if there is a dream you want to chase…

Do it afraid. It is okay to be scared, but it is not okay to let fear hold you back. Whether it is a fear of failure, or a fear of the unknown, or the fear of what others may think. Fear will only dissipate when you face it head on. DO IT AFRAID.

Don’t wait for the time to be just right. Don’t wait until you’re ready. You will be waiting forever.

I just finished an interview with a plus-sized model for an online publication that seeks to empower women and teach them to embrace their bodies and love themselves. This plus-sized model is in her mid-30’s. She’s been modeling for less than a year. She booked her first big gig just days after her father passed away on her birthday. She didn’t even have the chance to tell her father that she had been casted. Her own birthday is now forever intertwined with the sorrowing loss of her father and the exhilarating news of booking her first runway show. Her outlook on life after such a traumatic life experience is incredible. It hasn’t even been a full year since her father passed, but she decided to take life by the reigns and truly live for the moment.

Today, her life motto is, “Life is short. Do it afraid.” Because there isn’t time to waste waiting around for you to work up the nerve, for you to get a few more certifications, for you to lose a few more pounds, or for you to save up more money.

Whatever it is that you want, go after it.

This woman has inspired me.

I’m going to start my YouTube channel — despite having zero video editing experience, improper lighting, and no studio to record in.

I’m going to start teaching yoga — despite this everlasting fear that I will not be a soul-inspiring + motivating teacher.

I’m going to start putting real effort into building my brand and making this blog, yoga, and fitness my career.

Because, life is short. And all I have is NOW.

What are you going to do afraid?

Xo,

Leta

What If You’re Great?

We all have big dreams, deep passions, and a vision of what our ideal life would look like. It’s probably safe to assume that most of us have something we are interested in + passionate about and if given the chance to turn that into a career, we would jump at the chance. Maybe it’s photography, crafting, blogging, or traveling the world.

So when this possibility is staring us right in the face, why is it that so many of us freeze? Shy away? Back out?

Fear.

We are afraid to fail at the one thing we have dreamed of being successful at.

Just the other night, I was having dinner with a close friend and we were discussing my future as a yoga teacher. A great opportunity was potentially on the horizon for me if I’d dare to leap and take the risk.

I looked at him and my heart poured out, “I haven’t even finished my requirements for yoga teacher training yet to get my certification. Honestly, I think I’ve been avoiding it.”

“Why?” he asked.

“What if I’m not a good teacher? What if I’m awful?” I replied. There it was. My insecurities and self-doubt spilling out.

“What if you’re great?” he questioned back.

Wow. With one single question, this man had flipped my entire perspective upside down.

I have been delaying my journey to becoming an instructor because I’m afraid I won’t be as great, as spiritual, or as inspiring as those who have taught me. BUT… what if I will be? What if, in my attempts to shield my future students from the self-perceived disaster that could be me as an instructor, I’m only shielding the world from my light? If that is the case, then my procrastination affects more than just me; it is a disservice to the world. My gut instinct to spare my ego and delay finishing my certification is just me selfishly keeping my abilities to myself instead of sharing it with people who need it.

Think about it.

What if every time that you’ve retreated from an opportunity due to self-doubt or fear of failure, you weren’t just hurting yourself and downplaying your own abilities but you were also stealing valuable time, inspiration, and light from those around you that could have benefitted from you chasing your dream?

For me, it’s my future students. Could I have positively affected someone by now? Could I have made them drink the Yogi juice? Could they have already fallen in love with the practice? Could I have inspired someone to live more out of intention?

The Universe would not put a call to your heart + a need in your soul if you were not meant to chase it.

So, the next time that you are scared of failing and you want to back down from taking the leap… ask yourself, “what if you’re great?”

What if you are great? Then surely this world needs you. It needs your light, your passion, your drive, your compassion. Chasing dreams and doing things that scare you can run a big risk, but they have an even bigger reward. Not just for you, but for those around you. It can empower the people closest to you to do the same.

You are great. It’s time to spread your light.

Xo,

Leta