There is a lot to be said about a strong woman. A brave woman. A woman who consistently strives to improve herself: mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually. You admire this woman. You see her everywhere; you see her on tv, in the magazines, on social media. The strong woman that is ever-changing, ever-evolving, and always focused on personal growth.

This woman makes you want to be a better woman. So you take that step… that terrifying, exhilarating step outside of your comfort zone. You look inward. You really think about the woman that YOU want to become; the woman that YOU are destined to be.

A photo by Julia Caesar. unsplash.com/photos/DpoMKEARZe4

You know who she is; you know what she stands for. You understand what drives her, what she’s passionate about, what she is willing to commit her life to. Now that you know who this woman you want to grow into really is, you act on it. In order to be HER, YOU must take the appropriate steps to get there.

You have a goal. You have a vision. Now it is time to do the work! It is time for the sacrifice and the struggle, because believe me, there is no growth without either.

It is hard, of course, to step outside of your comfort zone. It is hard to push past your own limits in any aspect of your life: physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual. You are giving it your all. You are sacrificing sleep, time with friends and family, and any free time you used to have. Your motivation is fleeting, you find it unreliable some days… so you think back to your “why” and the woman you envisioned. You remember her. You know she would not give up. She would push forward. And since SHE is your future self, you decide that you, too, will push forward.

Days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months, and you are focusing on just getting through the day. One foot in front of the other. It is getting harder and harder to juggle everything that you have taken on. You feel overwhelmed. You feel as though your failure may be inevitable. You consider just giving up now so you don’t risk having to face the disappointment of failing. But then you realize that the disappointment of quitting would be far worse than that of failure. So again, you pick yourself up and keep moving forward.

Change is happening. In fact, you can hardly recognize the girl you used to be. Slowly but surely that woman you strive to be is getting closer and closer. And yet, instead of focusing on how far you have come, you focus on how far you still have to go. This discourages you. Is it too far? Can you carry on for that long? The mental and emotional toll of your endeavors continues to seep into your mind.

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The weight of it all seems heavier and heavier each day. Can you bear to carry the load any longer? You doubt it. So you start to break. It is uncontrollable. You cannot stop it. You are cracking. Tears stream down your face. As much as it hurts to let it all out, it is just as therapeutic to let the tears fall. You feel weak and defeated for breaking down. Pieces of your shattered shell all around you. Surely, the woman that you envision in the future would not break so easily.

My darling, you are right. She won’t break this easily, because this breakdown is making you stronger so that the next venture you take on (that will surely be bigger and better) will not be a burden to bear.

You are changing. You are growing. Growth is painful. It doesn’t matter if it is physical, mental, emotional, spiritual… growth in any aspect means that you will need more space to encapsulate you. More love needs a bigger heart. Higher consciousness needs a greater soul. More muscle needs more physical space. You, in your current form, cannot hold everything that you are becoming.

Like a flower bud blooms. Like a caterpillar cocoons into a butterfly. Like a Phoenix rises from it’s own ashes.

Your shell cracks. You shatter. Thousands and millions of pieces. You burn. The flames leave nothing but ashes. Embrace this. Embrace the hurt, the pain, and the struggle as it is a tell-tale sign of your growth. This is your rebirth. This is the day that this woman you once envisioned is born. Let her free. Embrace her beginning, knowing that she, too, will evolve and grow.

These are growing pains, my love. You have worked endlessly for this. It feels like failure, it feels like brokenness, it feels like the end. It feels as though you have just combusted. Do not fight it. Do not resist it. Let it happen. Embrace the chaos. This is your evolution.

 

Xo,

Leta

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